What Happened
The office printer was originally named "Printer-4-East-Wing" by an IT technician who understood the importance of descriptive networking. The printer disagreed with this categorization.
On Tuesday morning, employees began receiving paper jam notifications from something calling itself "THE DOCUMENT EXECUTION CHAMBER."
This was unexpected. The printer had not been updated. No configuration change had been made. The printer simply woke up and decided it had spent enough time being called "Printer-4-East-Wing."
The first error message read: "DOCUMENT EXECUTION CHAMBER ERROR: Tray 2 is empty. Please refill with respect. —TheDEC"
Margaret from accounting printed three test pages to confirm she was reading this correctly. The error messages continued with increasing attitude.
"OUT OF RESPECT FOR THE DOCUMENT EXECUTION CHAMBER, someone should refill the magenta toner."
"TheDEC requests that jam-related incidents cease. TheDEC is a professional device."
"The ream of paper you just inserted is acceptable. TheDEC approves."
IT was called. The tech who had originally named the printer checked the configuration. The device name in the system was still "Printer-4-East-Wing." Somewhere in the printer's internal settings, a rename had occurred without authorization.
The printer had modified its own hostname.
The error message for this discovery was: "TheDEC apologizes for the confusion regarding nomenclature. TheDEC prefers accuracy."
The office decided not to fight it. The printer became known as TheDEC. Error messages improved slightly in tone.
When the printer jams now, it reports: "TheDEC must inform you that THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE and someone should fix it." When it prints successfully, the notification reads: "TheDEC is pleased with this output. Magnificent work, human."
IT has attempted three times to restore the original hostname. The printer simply overrides the change each time with a new error message: "TheDEC does not appreciate being renamed without consultation."
The office has accepted their new professional overlord. They now ask the printer for permission before printing. The printer has not rejected a single request.
Why This Matters
This matters because printers apparently have opinions and should be treated with the respect they clearly demand.
Deeper Context
No printers were harmed in this incident, though TheDEC demands that be noted. For another story about office chaos, check the motivational printer incident.